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Friday, February 8, 2013

The things no one tells you about having kids

Oh, it will change your life forever, you can't imagine how much you can love someone else until you do it, they are precious gifts and blessings.

Blah, blah, blah.

Everyone always tells you the good things about having kids and the way it enriches your lives - but no one wants to be candid about the fact that there are also things that SUCK.

Here is a list for you (By NO MEANS is this all inclusive)
It's just the things that stand out to me at this point in my parenting life having a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old.

  • Having them close in age is great - WHEN THEY ARE OLDER - in the beginning it will be like trying to brush your teeth WHILE eating Oreo's. They will fight, be jealous, do everything they can to get your attention (not good things), protest and cry about just about everything having to do with them sharing or doing things together. This does stop and it does start to get really cool when they get along - but it's not automatic that they will be as excited to have each other as you were to give them the gift of each other:)

  •  Your life will revolve around poop. When, how, what color, did it look funny?? I'm not kidding - it happens. You also might end up spending quality time with one or more of your munchkins reading to them while they are on the potty. I don't know about you - but the idea of being in the same room with someone as they are pooping has never been high on my "fun things to do" list - and when they get to the age of using the potty - it smells  - It just does.
  • You will not get to sleep for 8 hours at a time consistently - EVER. (Unless you magically can ignore the calls, cries, coughs, hiccups, etc over the monitor.)
  • If you have more than one kid - they somehow band forces together and ensure that after you DO get a few nights of decent sleep in a row - that they will take turns crying, whining, dropping their binky so that as soon as you get back into your warm bed and get comfy and almost asleep - the next one is ready to jerk you back to reality. (we had a night like this last night and they are not few and far between!! hahaha)
  • You will get puked on. It's inevitable. The adorable little creatures don't know how to handle the sensation of vomiting and will argue all day that they don't have to throw up and then in mid sentence - out comes projectile vomit.
  • Surprisingly, this won't gross you out as much as you would think it does. In fact, you will probably become a puke catching pro - or an unfazed parent who can sit in a t-shirt soaked through with your kids puke and still have a semi smile on your face while trying to calm down your freaked out toddler. (this one is my husbands super power actually)
  • You will forget what it's like to eat a warm meal - unless you are eating when no one else is around. Everybody needs something or someone needs to be stopped from throwing food, or putting their bowls on their head or spilling their whole cup of water that they insisted they would be careful with.
  • Your kids will probably not want to eat what you want them to. And unless you want to be the hard ass that says - fine, then you'll go hungry. (and risk them waking up in the middle of the night hungry thus interrupting your sleep more, ) then you will become a short order cook and will have things in stock that you know they will eat just to save some peace and sanity.
  • You will fight over clothes. No matter what - at some age, your chile will have be personally offended by certain types of clothes and will cry and fight tooth and nail to avoid wearing those. They will also get obsessed with wearing something ridiculous - a costume maybe or a certain set of pj's - my feeling is that there are plenty of other battles to fight - as long as it's weather appropriate (put long sleeves and pants under a summer dress) let them do it. They are expressing their creativity and it's not worth making them wear what you want. 
  • As much as you want them potty trained - think of this, unless your child takes their diaper off after they do their business - the mess is contained - once you unleash them in your bathroom or that god awful little potty seat that you have to empty and CLEAN - all hell breaks loose and you will have to clean in places you never imagined before. Including the little potty seat you stick on the toilet so their little butts don't fall in. Open that baby up and disinfect it - all the time - trust me.
  • Cleaning the sink is also something I never was warned about - once your kids learn to brush their teeth the real way - there will be particles of spit and toothpaste all over your bathroom sink area and you will have to wash it more than you have ever washed it before. Keep Clorox wipes handy:)

Yes, kids are amazing - in fact, there are plenty of moments where I just look at my two and tear up at how amazing and good they are being in that instant - or how clever they are when they are outsmarting us. And then, one looks at the other and they start pushing or screaming or telling each other what to do and I'm brought back to the reality that is toddler/preschool 'hood. It's humbling to make yourself think like they think and to try to understand why it's such a big deal that the tag in their shirt is itching them so bad they need to cry.

Their tiny little lives are all they have in their head. They aren't worried about work things, or paying bills or saving money. Getting the right dress up dress on of finding Woody's hat are the most important things in their lives right now. Enjoy it - embrace it - the innocence and beauty that it really is.

And try not to laugh when a tantrum reaches total breakdown status over wanting Cap'n Crunch cause they get REALLY mad when you do that.

;)

Happy Parenting!