Teething Bling

I'm not gonna lie - this is another one of those baby products that I thought was dumb when I first heard about it and here is why. I thought,

"Why would you want to encourage your child to chew on your jewelry"

So, with my first kid - I didn't give it so much as a passing thought other than - wow, that's another useless item.

Then I had Ben - Ben likes to pull on my necklace ALL THE TIME. Katie NEVER did cause she was a bottle baby and just never really found my necklaces. I think Breastfeeding puts him in a position to want to hold on to something there. He also likes to chew on things - which Katie didn't do that much of either - so I thought - wait wasn't there a necklace made specially for kids like this that I could buy - so I looked it up and ordered one!

I ordered Teething Bling in their BEAUTIFUL Coral color and it just came in the mail today. Ben is sleeping, but I can't wait for him to wake up because I think he's gonna love it. They also make bangle bracelets which I admit, I thought was useless even after ordering the necklace - but my husband pointed out to me how much Ben grabs and chews on my hand and wrist - so again, clearly these moms are smarter than me and figured it out and are making money off of it. Kudos to them!

YAY Smart Mom jewelery for creating a safe teethable toy/fashion accessory for us both to enjoy! I will post a full review once he has gotten his gummy gum gums all over it!

P.s. something is wrong with blogspot at the moment and I can't flip my pictures - I will remedy that later:)

Hidden Costs of Staying at Home

Staying at home with your kids does not equal free "childcare."
There are a lot of hidden costs to staying at home with your children that you might not think about before deciding to do so. I don't think they are in any way prohibitive, but they definitely creep up on you when you might not be expecting it.

1) Heating and Cooling

The largest cost that I didn't consider before staying home was Heating and Cooling your house.
Before we had kids, we turned the heat off during the day and had it REALLY low at night using blankets for sleeping. We had it set to automatically turn on to be warm(ish) when we came home for dinner, but that was kind of about it.

When you stay home - you are home ALL DAY - and you have kids - which means it's not necessarily safe to pile on the blankets and have the heat low.

Same goes for HEAT waves (like the one we're all suffering right now) We have to run the AC ALL day in the living room - then for naptimes and bedtimes. This means we went from running the AC occasionally and usually only at night (cause we were at work during the day) to running anywhere from 1 - 3 for hours and hours at a time.

Don't get me wrong, I prefer fresh air - but there is NO air at all right now, and my migraines have kicked up a notch with the humidity - so there's that. Plus with Ben, we need the room to be cool enough because warm weather is a danger for SIDS - so we will be eating quite the large bill for AC and Heat in the next 2 years.

2) Food
I think that when you stay home, you tend to eat more or at least waste more maybe. I find that when I worked - I would buy stuff for lunch and make and take my lunch and that was that. Now, I find that I buy more options because I think I would like to have lots of choices for food during the day - that's actually kind of false - at least for me.
Well, maybe not entirely false - I do find that I eat healthier both because I'm home and I'm nursing - so good for me, bad for our wallet right - hahaha
I don't think it's a bad place to spend money - I'm just saying I have found that is one place I spend more since staying home.

3) Toys
Obviously you can find ways to save here - especially if you have good friends close by and can take advantage of toy swapping and borrowing - but I really do think that when your kids are home every day - they NEED a larger variety of toys to play with and learn from than a kid who goes to daycare. (they get all the variety there) So, I don't think of it as spoiling so much as making sure my kids have lots of options to swap in and swap out so that our days are not mundane. We don't go crazy with buying toys - but I do find that lately I have been buying toys randomly - whereas when Katie was smaller - it was only for gifts for holidays, etc... the other day we got her Mega Bloks (80 awfully sharp, hard pieces to step on) and some play doh accessories as regular play doh wasn't cutting it anymore. I also feel bad sometimes when I spend money on toys because you probably could run a whole daycare with the stuff we already have - but I am very savvy and I hardly EVER pay full price for anything and I have scoured a lot of GREAT tag sales for awesome deals too!

4) Books
Katie LOVES books - which is great - we read before every nap/bedtime and also throughout the day. She oftentimes picks books to bring with her as toys when we go places. I have found the DOLLAR STORE - to be one of the greatest assets for books. I don't mean cheapy nobody knows bad quality books - check out their section - I have gotten Disney Books, princess books, board books, sticker and coloring books there too - I will never buy a coloring book at a regular store again when I can get the same thing at the dollar store!

5) Day Activities
I find that you eventually have to bite the bullet and start taking your kids to mommy and me type classes and story times, etc... Not all these things are free - so you end up spending money there.

Those are the 5 big ones I could think of - can anyone else think of anything else??
Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining - I do love staying home - I really do and I see all the benefits for the kids - it's just something that I was thinking about when I started freaking out about money. I had to remind myself that AC is just something we can't really save on at the moment!!
It's just a cost of staying home;)

SWADDLING

O.k. this post is mostly for preggos or new parents but I really felt a need to write about our experience with Swaddling because it has changed our life.

Dramatic I know.

I don't think Katie liked being swaddled - although to be honest I didn't believe in it much back then and no one I knew really did it - so we didn't really try it aside from the first few days home with the receiving blankets like they did at the hospital.

Ben was another story. Swaddling is the only way he will sleep well. I am SO Happy that there are SO many products out there for swaddling and I figured I'd review some since we have tried a bunch.

1) Receiving blankets - they only work the first few days home because they are usually not big enough or tight enough and once your little one can move - forget it - they are useless.

2) SwaddleME by Summer -
these were awesome the first few months.
They come in light cotton fabrics AND heavier fleece fabrics for colder weather.
They have Velcro for closing and they are so smart, they actually put extra fabric near the velcro so that when you wash them, you can attach the fabric to the velcro so the velcro doesn't ruin other items in the wash! (I LOVED THIS FEATURE)
They also come in a crazy array of fun colors, prints, etc...
These worked for us until about 3 months and we literally could not leave home without one. We had to stop using them once Ben started trying to roll over in his sleep because he would wiggle himself out of it just enough that the part that wrapped his arms actually ended up by his face - which clearly is not good. So, sadly we had to retire them for awhile until he settled again.
They even have a hole in the back so that you can put them into your car seat or stroller - although I never figured out how to do this because Ben only needed to be swaddled when sleeping flat - I do know people use them in the car - so I'm sure that feature is handy as well.


3) Miracle Blanket -

This item was brought to my attention from some fellow moms, and although I have never used it - I think if I had known about it in the beginning, I would have just bought these because you don't have to replace them for bigger sizes and they eliminate the babies ability to get out of the swaddle and wake themselves up or get suffocated by moving around in the others ones too much. However, they do require a wrapping skill and I think in our situation with Ben, it would have been a little difficult some times to put him in one while he was dosing off...

4) Halo Sleepsack with swaddle

- someone mentioned this one to me and for the first week I loved it, then I found it to be the most annoying thing on the planet because for some reason it just didn't fit right. Ben was moving around more so it was a bit harder to get on and the sheer amount of velcro to close it makes so much noise, it inevitably woke him up if we had to adjust it - which we always had to do to make sure it was tight enough.

I did like the fact that for 20 something dollars you get a sleep sack AND Swaddle and that once you no longer need the swaddle part, that part is detachable and you can still use the sleep sack.
So, I will use the sleep sack part once he has broken the swaddle dependency.

5) The Woombie -

The people we are renting from left us some hand me downs and in that bag was the woombie. I thought it looked crazy but washed it anyway just in case and let me tell you I'm glad I did! Its a little awkward to put on, but Ben likes it the best!

Yes, it looks kind of like a straight jackety thing - but let me tell you these people are RIGHT on in terms of keeping baby happy. The shape and elasticity of the fabric means he has some wiggle room but he feels safe and secure and cant jerk himself awake. Which means he sleeps great - because he can move around to get comfy but his little arms and legs don't jut out since he's too young to have total control of his limbs. He wore it all last night and slept the best he has in days!!! Hes also napping in it now and is sleeping SO well! I love this thing
I wish I had had these from the beginning:)

The website has all kinds of super cool stuff including this AWESOME looking napping station thingy that would have been perfect the last few days with the heat wave as we could have brought him into our room without having to set up the pack and play or sleep on the couch - which is what I did for 2 days so he could stay in the AC in the pack and play. They also have these woombie with legs and I think we are going to NEED those in a month or so when we start to transition him out of the full swaddle. Genius - I swear.

Just goes to show you that even if you think something won't work or looks funny - TRY IT! All babies are different and there are a ton of products out there - not all of which are worth your money. If you can borrow some of these to try them on your little one before you invest - I suggest you do that. I will save all mine, so if you are interested - just tell me! But, I have to say - Woombie all the way!!!!

Sorry, I gotta run, he woke up and needs some cereal - but I just wanted to share some Swaddling reviews - because like I said, swaddling has saved our lives. I know we don't get that much sleep from him, but the sleep we do, we get thanks to swaddling!!!!

Happy Weekend!

P.s. I will eventually take pics of my actual child in these products - but things are a bit crazy at the moment with 2;)

How clean is your house?

Wow, I'm back and it feels like it's been FOREVER!

We finally moved into a rental house and let me tell you it's AMAZING!

It's a 3 bedroom - 2 floor house (beds and bath up - living, kitch, dining, down) Full backyard and driveway!! (no more moving cars for the street sweeper on Tuesday mornings!!!!)

But, it was stressful to say the least.

See, we had more stuff than we thought we did. We had more stuff than the movers thought when they did the estimate and of course the day of the move ended up being the hottest day of the spring - so it was misery all around!

However, we did it and we are in and now it's just a matter of getting this place all set up with our pictures hung and our patio/backyard set up and it will feel like HOME!

In moving, I realized something that I thought we should discuss and that is cleanliness.

See, I come from a long line of obsessive cleaners. My kitchen is swiffer mopped every other day, my floors always vacuumed, my bookshelves dusted multiple times a week. There are never poop stains in my toilet and the rest of my bathroom gets a once over at least 3 - 4 times a week. (especially with a potty trained kiddo) Her potty seat gets sanitized and wiped down all the time too.
(turn your potty seat over and take a look - it's GROSS)

I even wipe down the garbage can front, top and back if anything gets on it because although it's a garbage can, I don't think it needs to have garbage ON it... only IN it.

So, when I got here to move in, I was absolutely DISGUSTED to see the state of the bathroom and kitchen. I'm talking caked on grime. I spent the better part of an hour or 2 just scrubbing, bleaching and disinfecting these 2 small places so that I could feel good about bringing my kids in the house.

AND - the worst part is that there were 2 babies living here. One of which got baths in the tub that I had to bleach like, 3 times just for us to take showers in.

I don't get it. I'm finding the older I get and the more places I go, the cleaner my house looks to me.

Don't get me wrong - I can be messy. My drawers are a mess - socks with pants and shirts and panties all mixed in to heaping piles that you have to flatten to close them - however it's Clean - there is a difference. And, my room is the only room that stays messy. I make sure everywhere else in the house is clean every day. We pick up the toys every night, (Katie has been helping since she could walk and is very good about this) the kitchen is NEVER left a mess overnight and the kids room is always clean.

Is it too much? Am I the crazy one? I enjoy a clean house. I just found itty bitty little ants near the kitchen and am FREAKING OUT because I vacuumed 3 times this week and it grosses me out to think there is food somewhere I can't get to that is attracting them - so we are getting spray and I will continue to vacuum until they are gone.

Nothing skeeves me out worse than a dirty kitchen. And this kitchen had just been re-done with nice counters and cabinets and yet, the people that lived here apparently didn't care to keep it up.

Perhaps I clean too much - but it makes me happy. I guess that's why I never get overwhelmed with cleaning the house - because I keep it up during the week so it's never a crazy, time consuming all day event...

Is there anyone else out there that cleans like me? Do you feel my pain?? I was so overwhelmed with how gross this place was that I was almost in tears... granted, part of that is my crazy hormone in-balance due to breastfeeding, but I think some of it was warranted given the situation too!!!

:)

P.s. this is by no means a commentary on ANYONES house I have been to recently for the record... just a commentary on the GROSS people that used to live here!

Positives to Staying Home with your kids

O.k. in the insanity that has been the last 3 months, I have decided to write a blog on the positives on staying home because I do realize that there are a lot, otherwise I wouldn't be sacrificing working in order to do so.

So... here goes

1. You have less of a chance of missing all the firsts... steps, words, crawling, smiles
2. You get to stay in your pj's all day
3. You have full access to your fridge all day and can make whatever you want whenever you want and aren't limited to a cafeteria or a microwave
4. In the summer, you can enjoy some outside time and possible sprinklers, water table or pool fun
5. Your kid gets to set a schedule that works for them- I for one, let Katie nap for as long as she needs to (unless it goes past 4:30 because we like having some quiet time at night without her being awake past 8:00) and we never have to wake her up in the morning
6. You can run your errands during the day (well, when I had one kid I could do that, at the moment I am stuck doing my errands after 8pm when he's asleep for longer than 2 hours at a clip - but I hold out hope that that will change someday)
7. You can clean your house a little here and a little there. (I'm wicked crazy about cleaning and my house is ALWAYS clean. I'm talking lysol wipes on the garbage can opening clean - so this suits me well!)
8. You can cook yummy dinners without having to eat late. (although my meal planning lately has been crap - I will get back to it now that we're settled)
9. You can watch daytime TV - yeah, I said it - I watch Ellen and Rachel Ray sometimes - don't judge
10. You can go on the internet and use the phone without being monitored by anyone but your toddler
11. You can have play dates with your kids friends moms - which can be play dates for you!
    

So, please understand that I do realize there are a lot of perks to being a stay at home mom. I just wasn't expecting that number 2 would be so difficult and totally throw my leisurely lifestyle upside down. Having a kid that won't stay in a stroller makes a lot of the above difficult, but I know that someday - I will get back there:)

Happy Wednesday (I think it's Wednesday anyway)

Sorry - we moved - and it takes so much time:(

Hello all !

Sorry for the delay in posting! We FINALLY finished our move and it took longer and more out of us than we had expected. The people we are renting from were DISGUSTING and left all kinds of crap for us to deal with. Between cleaning like crazy and unpacking our insane amount of boxes, it's been a week and we still aren't completely done. I'm amazed at how gross some people are - and these people have kids and all I could think is their kids lived like this too:(

The good news is having all this new space has given us a new lease on life already! Having a backyard for Katie and a driveway and an upstairs and a laundry in the basement has already made us all WAY HAPPIER than we were in the old 2 family.
The bad news is all I can think of is - all of this work and it's only temporary - as we have a one year lease with an option to renew if all goes well.

So, let's hope it all goes well and we can make this place our home for 2 good years - then our deadline will be reached and we will have to finally decide what to do because I already told my husband - I never want to move again!!!

Other than that, we are still trucking here. I have decided that I pretty much hate the restrictions that breastfeeding has introduced to me. Ben still absolutely refuses a bottle and I'm not selfish enough to starve him to force him to do it - so we are at a stand off and so far he's winning. if I had to go to work or something, then I could see forcing it - but seeing as how it's just kind of inconvenient for me to be stuck here all the time, I have decided to cancel my gym membership and just cross my fingers that someday I can go back and run my errands after he's asleep at night.

He still eats every 2 hours during the day which makes my days very hard - but he sleeps pretty much every night at least 5 - 8 hours - so I guess I'll take it.

I just keep telling myself that tomorrow will be the day that he stretches out his feedings to every 3 hours - but so far - tomorrow hasn't changed:( and it's very difficult to do anything outside the house.

He also has decided to stick to his guns about hating being in the car seat - and every time we try to take him out - he screams until he has that awful raspy, hurty voice left and it's pure torture. I feel worse when Katie is with me because she doesn't really understand why he cries all the time and I don't want it to upset her. I have been trying to take him on short trips to see if he can handle it and every time I do - I end up insanely stressed out and depressed and he screams and cries the whole time - it's not good and it's not getting any better.

Good thing we have this nice, big house to hang out in because it looks like I'll be stuck here awhile.

what else?? I have decided that I need to start working PT online again - I wasn't sure if I was going to - but I decided I will feel better if I'm making a little money and it's good for my brain - so I am in the process of re-training myself for that as it's been since February since I worked...

My next big adventure will be one in cloth diapering - I have to decide which system I want to use and then start getting my supplies so we can see how we like it. I had a friend switch over and so far she loves it - in fact.. Kate, do you want to do a guest post for me????

Hope all is well with you all - I will post something a little more helpful and mom-ish when I get another free moment!

Perhaps some coupon updates! I have been keeping up with it and still absolutely love it. I ran out to shoprite the other day with no plan - just my coupon folder and ended up saving $56 between what was on sale and what I had coupons for and it was all stuff I needed to re-stock our house with food after the move.
Makes me feel good:)

Motherhood is not all roses and rainbows

Motherhood is not all roses and rainbows.
You will never sacrifice more than you do the second you become pregnant. Dads sacrifice too - but it's not the same - not even close.

Your body incubates this little being for 9 months and then you have to get it out. Your insides literally shift positions and organs move around to accomodate your little bundle of joy.

(If your jeans don't fit after you give birth it might be because your hip bones literally spread out to allow for more space for the baby to make it's exit)

Your hormones are INSANELY wacked out.

Women who have been vegetarians for years suddenly crave rare cheeseburgers, some women can literally throw up at the first smell of a particular food and you will be exhausted like you have never experience before. I hardly ever made it to 9 pm with my first pregnancy and I had to nap during the day with my second otherwise I would not have survived until dinnertime.

Some women experience nausea so bad they need to be medicated and the same goes for acid reflux. Sleep issues can be present from day one- either needing too much or not getting enough because you can't get comfortable.

At the end of all of this, and hopefully after a mostly painless childbirth (I have heard HORROR STORIES about deliveries gone wrong) you are presented with a slimey, crying, red faced little human to love unconditionally.

Love you will - you will kiss their toes, and their hands and their heads and you will stare at them for hours. You might not even want to let them go back to the nursery when you are in the hospital because you can't imagine one second without them.

Then you go home.

And the baby cries and nothing you do can stop it and you don't remember the words to any nursery rhymes and you smell like spit up and haven't brushed your teeth or showered in days and you haven't made dinner yet and the baby hates his bath and isn't napping like newborns are supposed to and your husband comes home from work looking refreshed and relaxed and you want to punch him because you can't remember the last time you felt relaxed.

In honor of being honest - I figured it was about time we discussed postpartem depression/baby blues.

Not everyone suffers from it and not everyone that does suffer from it, has the same experience. Some feel it right away, some don't feel anything for weeks to months after giving birth.
For some women, it's extreme and debilitating to the point where they can't function and for others, they just need to cry for 10 minutes at the end of a particularly hard week.

ALL OF THIS IS NORMAL - however it doesn't make it any easier.

I don't think I experienced Postpartem at all with my first child which is weird because it was the dead of winter and my husband had to commute so he was out of the house a lot more than he is now. Granted - staying home was brand new back then and a novelty and all I could think of was how lucky I was to be able to stay home with this perfect little being.

Katie also was good in the car seat - took a bottle and slept when we went places.

Fast forward to now where I have a 2.5 year old who is very demanding and too smart for her own good and who NEVER STOPS TALKING - I mean never - not for one second when she's awake and a newborn. My newborn won't take a bottle, hates his car seat and screams bloody murder when we go out places lately. He won't stay in a carrier and wants to be held all the time - but at least he sleeps well at night - only waking me up once to nurse and going back to bed immediately.

Ladies, I'm afraid I am suffering from a mild bout of post partem depression and I don't think I should be embarrassed to talk about it. It's out of my control. My hormones are still running amuck and I've been home for 2.5 years, so I think my claustrophobia from being in this apartment all this time has caught up to me and I'm sure the isolation of being out here hasn't helped either.

I'm overwhelmed all the time and more exhausted than I think I should be at the end of the day and I'm crazy moody and super resentful of my husbands ability to just get up and go wherever he wants - whenever he wants. (he doesn't actually leave me except to go to the gym - but the fact that he can just pisses me off to no end.)

I literally countdown to bedtime some days because I just can't take it anymore. The neediness, the talking, the demands, the breastfeeding, keeping up the house and all of the finances and not even getting 1 hour to myself 2 or 3 times a week to go work out at a gym class because every time I leave, I come home to complete Chaos. It's like my kids want to ensure I never leave because they somehow manage to have complete meltdowns with Dave which just makes me feel more trapped than I already do. It also makes him frustrated because then I'm pissed I can't do anything and he's pissed because he's trying to help me out and the kids are tag teaming him.
It's a miserable cycle and I'm hoping it ends soon.

In trying to help me with all of this, my husband and I were talking the other day and we came to this conclusion - I need a lunch hour. Time JUST FOR ME - to browse the internet or eat a meal at my own pace - or read a book before bedtime. That's what I resent the most - is the loss of time that is truly just for me. I feel like I don't get that anymore and the breastfeeding is a HUGE reason for that. However, as moody as I am and as unhappy as I can be on some days - I honestly believe that breastfeeding is best for him so I will keep on trucking :)

My clothes don't fit at all even thought I'm 10 pounds away from my target weight,
My boobs leak,
I'm exhausted,
My body temperature is still whacko,
My hair is falling out by the handful,
and now due to us moving into a rental house - I'm stressed about not making money. I'm just one of those girls who likes to make her own money - and since I haven't been for 2.5 years - and we are adding to our expenses, it's stressing me out.

Luckily I have an amazing husband who helps me out as much as anyone could ever want and who understands that this crazy version of me is temporary. I am also looking forward to moving into a 3 bedroom house with 2 floors of living. We are thinking of making the kids share a room too so that I can set up an office for my PT consulting work and Dave's guitars and my arts and crafts along with space for guests in the extra bedroom.

I think all of this will help get me back to me which I'm desperate for as I feel like I've been out of whack since my first tri-mester.

And the older Ben gets and the less he needs to eat and the more I can get outta the house alone - the better I will feel - so I just keep trying to tell myself it's temporary and I will one day miss how small they are - and I will keep asking Dave to help me get mini breaks when he gets home so that my feelings and frustrations don't affect the kids and I will make sure that I make time for myself in any way I can so that I don't get resentful.

I love my kids more than I thought possible and I don't regret having them - but like I said, motherhood is not all roses and rainbows and if you suffer from the baby blues or postpartem depression- you owe it to yourself and your family to talk about it and acknowledge it and get help. It's nothing to be ashamed of and in more serious cases than mine, can only be fixed with your doctors help - that's what they are there for.
And if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and frustrated - ask your friends and family for help and back up and make your husband do stuff. I have absolutely no love for husbands who don't help out at home - I think it's a cop out - this isn't the 50's - put your big boy pants on and be men and help out your wives and spend some time with your kids!!! I'm just saying - marriage and parenting should be a partnership - everyone will be happier that way!

Thanks for listening!

Things that happen when you become a parent

1. You will become obsessed with your child's poop - trust me
2. You will realize your first week home that you don't know any nursery rhymes or childrens' songs (unless you work at a preschool) We sang Christmas songs to our daughter her first few days because we couldn't think of anything else
   
3. You will learn to survive on VERY broken and often Very little sleep
4. You will get spit up on almost daily and probably get pooped and peed on too
5. You will give up dressing nicely for awhile because of number 4
6. You might forget to brush your teeth every once in awhile - baby wakes up - you rush to get a bottle or nurse him, you change a diaper, probably change his outfit from spit up and then you grab your morning coffee - it happens
7. You will contemplate whether it's worth peeing before you rush to bed once the baby is asleep because those 30 seconds could be precious sleep time
8. You will either LOVE or HATE car rides depending on whether your child likes to sleep in his car seat - my second child HATES the car - thus making any errands or trips torture
9. You will probably not eat out at a restaurant for awhile - unless you have a babysitter - you don't want to be those people with the screaming kid
10. If you do end up being that person with the screaming kid (like I was the other day in Target) you will learn to ignore those around you and curse them for their ability to run in and run out and finish their errand in peace - then when your child falls asleep and is quiet you will forget all about how stressed you were when he was screaming.
11. You will wipe your kids noses with your bare hand or your clothes to avoid having them be the snotty kid
    
12. You will change diapers on tables, floors, in the middle of dinner and it won't affect you
13. You will get over that awkward reading to a kid out loud thing - I always felt weird with my friends kids like I had to perform for an audience - you get over that
14. You will no longer listen to your own music in the car - if there is a kids CD that will quiet your screaming baby - that becomes the regular soundtrack to your driving life
    

No matter who you are or how you feel about the things above now - they will all change once you become a parent. Don't let this list scare you - you will embrace it and love it and when your kids are smiling and hugging and kissing you - you will not miss your old life.
At the same time, when your child is screaming and crying for no reason - you will miss your old life just a little - it's a cycle that is never ending but well worth it in the end.

;)

Happy Monday

Healthier eating challenge

I don't know what my problem is because I like healthy foods.
Whole grains, green leafy veggies, squashes, salads, even raw and roasted beets, beans, nuts, seeds, plain old fashioned oatmeal for breakfast, etc...
But I eat crap instead.

We have stepped away from having an overabundance of processed foods in the house, but I still eat them. I also tend to eat TONS of sugar and lately crazy amounts of salt.

Which is dumb, because when I have a wheatberry salad made with beets, carrots, orange juice and cranberries - I would just assume eat that instead of a cookie.

I think my problem is that although I like these foods, I do not know how to really cook with them all yet. "healthy, Vegetarian cooking" seems so daunting to me - which is ridiculous because I rarely cook meats and actually prefer vegetarian dishes. So, what am I so afraid of? I think it's a comfort factor. I am intimidated by cooking healthier - so I tend to just be lazy and make the same 10 things over and over again - some healthy - some not so much.

I also think that in my mind eating healthy has to take so much more time than grabbing something out of the fridge or pantry that's already made and fast.

(having 2 kids - meal times have to be speedy if I want to finish)

So, I have decided that this move is the perfect time to totally clear out my pantry and start over with whole wheat flour - less sugar, less processed chemically crap and WAY less sugary snacks and treats. Once we eat it - I will try very hard not to replace it - except for a few small treats every now and then.

I promise to buy more fruits and vegetables and to come up with meal plans that will force me to cook them before they go bad.

One of my NEW FAVORITES is Kale Chips - you take raw Kale and bake them in the oven with olive oil and salt and pepper and whatever other seasonings you might want and they come out as tasty, crispy yumminess that is WAY healthier for you than a handful of potato chips.

Dave got me a Super Duper cook book for vegetarian eating and I haven't used a recipe yet because I was intimidated - but once we are in the new house with my newly stocked pantry - I think I will try one recipe out of it a week. (to start)

So, here is my challenge - can you swap out one or two of your unhealthy staples for a healthier option?

My first swap will be Kale chips for Potato Chips.
I read a book once that explained it pretty simply - real food is what grows in nature and animals that we kill. Processed, chemically produced versions of food are not natural and certainly not healthy.

The guy in the book made 3 points that really stuck with me -
1) if your grandmother wouldn't have it in her pantry - don't have it in yours
2) try not to eat things you can't make yourselves (potato chips, cookies, french fries, etc...)
but if you really want them - make them yourself. Peel, slice and fry the potato chips - it's a lot of work and it might deter you from eating them all the time!
3) cooking should be a process - taking it out of the freezer and heating it up is not cooking

So, since I'm still breastfeeding which provides more motivation to eat healthier options and it is making me hungrier than I was when I was pregnant, I vow that the next few months I will be making healthier food options for me and my family. I will take more time to cook the food that we eat and not allow making meals to stress me out .
I will try to find ways to enjoy it again - because I realize that now I have 2 little ones looking to me to teach them to make good choices in eating and chicken nuggets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time is not fulfilling that responsibility.

I owe it to them and I owe it to myself.

Plus, I always feel better when I'm eating healthy and taking care of myself - so it really is a win win for everyone!

Will you join me and share recipes, swaps and ideas for healthy snacks????

Staying at home makes me cranky

I'm going to be 100% honest here because, well, that's kind of the point of this blog right?

Staying home with my kids has made me super cranky.

I mean I always got cranky before - but not like this...

I think breastfeeding has a lot to do with it as Ben still is refusing a bottle and I mean absolutely refusing. As my husband says, his way of dealing with trying to be fed a bottle is to cry and then sleep. He literally can't figure it out - it just sits in his mouth while he desperately tries to breastfeed off of it. We have tried every bottle possible and are sick and tired of it to be honest.

And there is the irritation of having pumped milk for it to just go to waste.
It's very tiring to hear him cry so much with very little result - if he was making progress I would push it, but he's really not - so I am kind of just convinced I will have to nurse him exclusively for the next 4 months at least.

Which is fine - because I do honestly believe that breastmilk is best which is why I pushed myself through the first 4 weeks of absolutely constantly having him on my boob. Katie got breastmilk for 3 full months and she NEVER got sick as a baby and even now - just gets the occasional cold and I chalk that up to her food in the beginning.

I signed up to breast feed - I didn't realize I was signing up to NEVER getting a break from actually nursing. With Katie I pumped all the time which was annoying and time consuming, but we were able to go out and feed her with no issue at any time of day. Nursing is a little harder when I'm by myself with both kids in a public place. Like Katie's gym class - it's a mommy and me class, so if Ben needs to eat - I'm screwed and Katie runs around like a crazy woman and the other moms have to help wrangle her - which makes me feel bad.

I know, I know - back to the topic of this post - why are you so cranky?

I'm cranky because I have had 9 weeks of constantly broken sleep. I'm cranky because if Zumba or spinning start at 6 and Ben needs to eat at 6 - I don't get to go because I have to feed him.

I don't want to go out and party all night - I am even ok with not being able to drink alcohol and limiting my caffeine and diet. I just want to be able to go to the gym, or go shopping alone every once in awhile without having to rush home to feed him.

I need to get these brief times away because staying home full time is HARD. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom forever. I definitely could not be a housewife for the rest of my life. I give those women a lot of credit because it's just not me. I need a life outside the house. I need adult interaction and meetings, and deadlines, etc... and so far this life hasn't really given me all of that. (moving to a place where we didn't know anyone didn't help in the social life area so I am very isolated - which is probably not your typical stay at home mom situation)

If you read my blog, you have heard this before.

Now that I have the second kid, I thought I'd be refreshed and feel ok to be staying home again indefinitely - but that's not true. I am tired of being home. I love my kids to death - but waking up at 4 am to feed Ben and being bitchy and cranky because he doesn't want to go back to sleep isn't fair to him or to me. I'm lonely and being lonely sucks no matter how many adorable grins and smiles and hugs you get. I've always been super social and this isolation on top of staying home is getting to me.

We are in the middle of moving into a one family house that has much more space and a backyard - so maybe having more space will help me out and help me get through the next 6 months to a year. (which is how long I had envisioned staying home with the 2nd)

Almost every time I hear someone who works FT say that they wish they could stay home with their kids - I almost laugh a little because I think to myself - you can say that because you only have to do it every once in awhile full time. There's always a light at the end of your tunnel and a definite time that you will be going back outside your house on your own.
You also get to experience the best of your kids by not being with them full time. You don't have to deal with meltdowns over lunch or fighting over toys for 2 full hours, or the stress of trying to convince your 2 year old that she will feel better after a nap.

I read countless posts of parents who can't wait for school vacations to be over and I don't blame you - I understand.

I would imagine that after being with someone else all day that most kids are on good behavior with their parents at the end of the day. I fully understand that it's harder to schedule home stuff and kid stuff when you only have a few hours a day to do it. I also believe that some people really would excel and love every second of staying home full time with their kids.

As for me, I have a lot of moments where I have to count to 5 and breathe deep because I literally don't ever get a second to myself - right this minute, the baby is in the swing for a few quiet moments (rare) while Katie is trashing my living room because I am not paying attention to her. When I do pay attention to her, she won't want anything to do with me. It's an endless cycle. I don't get to shower, use the bathroom, eat, clean or sleep in peace. EVER. I can't talk on the phone without Katie telling me to get off and play with her. (only for her to not want anything to do with me when I am off the phone) I can't go grocery shopping without either taking one kid with me so they don't terrorize my husband or having to rush home to feed Ben.

I love my kids and I am happy that I am able to stay with them during these early times. I am sure I will look back and think of these years as some of the best years with my children because I taught them to walk, talk, draw, color, play, jump, etc... I just wish it didn't make me so cranky.

I think this is a typical case of the grass is always greener. I am sure those of you who work FT will be aghast saying that if you only had the chance to stay home you would embrace every single second and never resent it at all. I call - bullshit. It's tough. Tougher than I ever thought it would be. Especially with a 2 year old and a newborn. Power struggles and constant breastfeeding don't go well together. Every single parent - no matter how much of a super mom you might be - will have moments of crankiness and sadness.

I cook, I bake, I make her arts and crafts, I sing songs, I make up games, I taught her her letters and alphabet and counting and we are going to try to start learning how to read soon. Hell, I even handmade our halloween costumes this year so she could be what she wanted to be. Tell me that's not dedication!!

I'm dedicated and I participate and I love them - I'm just tired and cranky sometimes and I need to vent and then I feel better and am ready to turn around - give them hugs and kisses and come up with the next art project or special activity to try to keep them occupied for at least 5 minutes!

Today is looking glum- I offered to take Katie to her gym class for a make up cause we missed 2 weeks and she told me she doesn't want to go - so now I either have to force her to go and pray that Ben doesn't need to eat during class (because I really don't feel like trying to nurse him AND chase her at the same time since my friend won't be there today) or throw the towel in the bag and not take her and risk her not wanting to nap later because she's not tired enough because it's crappy out and we can't go outside - not to mention the waste of money since we are paying per month regardless of if you get to go to class...

Wish me luck and anyone else feeling the same way - hang in there - I know it comes and goes. It's natural and it doesn't make you a bad parent - I honestly believe that.


Dear kids,
I'm sorry I get cranky sometimes. I love you and I always will but the constant whining and power struggles and spitting up and yelling and running around naked refusing to put on your clothes or leave the house wears me out. The way that Ben screams in his carseat for a good 20 minutes before he falls asleep makes me not want to leave the house, especially since he usually wakes up wherever we are at and continues screaming if I don't push the cart of stroller at just the right speed. Katie, your ability to run away at the speed of light because you think every moment is an opportunity for a game of chase stresses me out.

I promise that after a few minutes or hours of crankiness I will return to my normal, happy, jolly self and sing and dance and make silly songs and art projects with you. I will try to teach you things and continue to give you a million hugs a day regardless of if you return them to me.

Sometimes mommy gets cranky and I'm sorry. I'll try to work on that!

Discipline strategy

How do you all make sure that the discipline in your house is equal and the same between parents?
My husband and I have little pow wows - particularly after hard days with Katie to make sure we both agree on discipline, and back each other up and also to help each other decide which battles are worth fighting with a VERY independent and strong minded almost 2.5 year old.

I think this is KEY in our happiness and success as a parenting team.
We check in and discuss things and if we think we need to change how we are doing something, we both agree to do it the same together.

It's working as Katie doesn't pull the let me ask Daddy to see what he says if Mommy says no type of thing. It's important to be able to touch base and vent to someone. (especially for me as I am with them 24/7 and I think it's harder on a Full time, stay at home parent just because you are with your kids ALL THE TIME) So, having someone who will listen to me vent and help put things into perspective helps alot.

How do you all manage to agree and discipline the same way?