Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When time out doesn't work

When Timeout doesn't work

All our children are angels and well behaved all the time - FICTION

Time out works all the time - Fiction

Mommy's never yell at their kids or lose their temper - FICTION (at least in this house)

Mommy's need help from other mommy's to figure out how to stay sane and manage their kids - FACT

So ladies, I ask you - what do you do when time out doesn't work for your kid.

Katie had a particularly bad day yesterday - pushing every button she could and getting every punishment I could think of. She even had a NEMO moment - you know the scene where Marlin tells him not to touch the boat - so he swims up and smacks the boat and looks back at Marlin - yeah that happened to me yesterday.

I took away her favorite toys (which we thought would work - but apparently even her most favorite sleeping friends not being with her for a night does not deter he bad behavior)

I put her in time out

I put her in modified time out when she ran out of regular time out (I put her in her crib and take all her toys, blankets, pillows out and close her door)

I took away her Thomas trains and cars and trucks

To no avail - she stayed wicked.

On our second visit to modified time out - I left in her blanket and pillow as I figured how much fun can those be - and she looked at me and held them up to me and said, "mommy, you forgot these" (i almost died from laughing and crying at the same time)

So - how do you handle these rare but wickedly frustrating toddler moments?

I called my husband and vented on the phone - as that usually helps to calm me down or at least give me a new perspective - but unfortunately her bad behavior continued after that phone call and I resorted to the silent treatment - which did not work so well either.

There is nothing worse than saying to your child, "Do I have to take away Ba Ba? (Thinking this will be the magic sentence that turns her back into an angel) and having her say,
"YES" and hand you Ba Ba.

I know I'm not alone. I can't have a drink after bedtime as I'm nursing the baby and he is REFUSING a bottle so I can't pump and dump - I can't go to the gym because he eats irrationally still - so I spent all of last night holding tons of pent up stress and aggression in my neck and shoulders.

I hate when I yell at her - but I lose my cool. The sad thing, is it doesn't phase her. She thinks it's funny. Apparently my "serious" voice is not serious enough.

She even sometimes talks to me in my serious voice
EX. after time out for throwing food...
ME - "Katie, what are you going to do when you go back in the kitchen"
Katie - PICK UP MY FOOD with furrowed brow, stern look and deep almost yelling voice which I can only assume is her best impression of my serious face/voice.

It's even more frustrating as she is pretty much the only person I talk to during the day - so it's very hard when you are angry with the only person you have to talk to....

It's so hard because she's so advanced in so many other areas that we forget she's only 2 - and that's our fault - I try to tell myself that all the time - she's only 2, she's only 2 - but when your 2 year old can give directions to her friends house and remember grocery lists and argue reasonably why she doesn't want to do something - you tend to forget.....

SO, moms... let's have at it - what do you do and how do you cope?
How do you regroup and calm down?


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Christine I wrote your number down and then deleted the post cause it's a public blog and I don't want any creepies calling you!!!

    Bouchard Family said...

    First your breastfeeding picture made me laugh so hard I almost spit my tea out. Next exactly what do you do with the cloth diaper when you are out in public? Did my granmother ever take my dad out of the house before he was potty trained since he was in cloth diapers? I just find this part to be a gross mystery.
    Time out not working here are 4 things I try:
    1. I pray. I am not sure how relisiuos you are but I gave my life to God August 2010 and since then I have come to an understanding that JC is mine of borrow. God gave me the honor of raising him here on earth but he is truely one of God's children. So when life gets crazy I give him back...kind of. I pray to God that I need him, that I can not handle JC on my own and after a good conversation (sometimes out loud so JC can see the importance of praying to God) everything seems to calm down.
    2. I remove us all from the situation. I have packed up and gone to the store on several occassions or just a quick drive, even a walk (This helps you get your excercise and get the change of atmosphere). A movie on in the back seat, the windows down and deep breathing on my part sometimes help.
    3. I call in back up. I figure sometimes he is just tired of listening to me and by this point I am probably tired of listening to myself. I know you don't have much family around but that doesn't mean you can't call in a babysitter for 30 minutes or beg your husband to come home for 30 (yes I have done this but only in a desperate situation).
    4. Call a friend and scream - I am always available

    Hope today is better than yesterday and yes you are right they are just 2...going on 12.

  3. Well it's a comfort to know we are not the only ones battling this bad behavior. Jake has taken up pleading when he doesn't get his way and then it turns quickly into screaming. and sometimes I feel like I am at the end of my rope when he is standing in time out screaming his bloody head off. so I can definitely relate - I have thought many times lately "what else is there beyond time out?!" or really, more effective. and I agree with Christine in that it's definitely better to do things to stay calm - any time I end up yelling he yells louder and I feel terrible. and when Jake is behaving poorly or not listening we do a time out and then I try to make sure we move on as quickly as possible to something new and fun to encourage some more good behavior. it's tough with the babies too I think because you're trying to spend as much nice time with your older one as possible (because you're of course attached to baby most times), and it just gets tough, especially when they aren't listening. frustrating.