Working Mom Intervention
There are some serious changes happening in our house effective immediately.
I went from Full Time stay at home mom who never took time for herself to a full time work aholic mom who was neglecting her kids. Not neglecting in the child abuse sense – but neglecting in the cleaning /working/cooking instead of playing with them sense.
I have fallen into a habit of working way too much and not playing enough. I’m not sure if it’s just because the extreme liberation of going back to work and getting out of the house and having my own personal identity again was too much for me or what – but I overdosed on it. (I was always a workaholic before so I fell back into bad habits)
Working from home, I thought I’d have all the time in the world to cook and clean and get stuff done so we could spend together at night. I have succeeded in having dinner on the table every single night as soon as they come home but I haven’t succeeded in having any other balance. Most days I have to peel myself away from my desk just to make myself lunch – it’s a bad habit – and it’s resulting in me not having time for my kids.
That all ended this weekend.
Katie has been distant from me for awhile – I don’t blame her – I’m always “too busy” to play and do things. I’m always moving, cleaning, organizing, planning. If she’s watching something on tv – that’s an opportunity for me to get something done – if she’s playing quietly – I’m emptying the dish washer. I’d be mad at me too, in fact I am mad at me and I’m fixing it. I finally talked to her about it over the weekend while we were playing restaurant – I realized I hadn’t sat and played with her for an extended period for awhile because she usually prefers playing with her dad – and I told her that I was going to stop cleaning and working all the time and would play with her more. She said she would really like that and that then she would play with me more and not just daddy because that would make her happy.
Holy Reality Check.
So, I gave myself an intervention this weekend and have started instituting the following changes in my life and I feel like a new person!
My New Rules for being a full time working mom
- Wake up early so that I am awake and ready to play with you and not sleepy and groggy and bitchy
- Take lunch breaks during the day and use THAT time to do stuff around the house
- Prep for meals WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING
- Clean the house WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING
- Go to the gym BEFORE work in the morning after you have left the house. I might not get to spend 1.5 hours there – but I will still be on my way to healthy and not be wasting our time together at night
- Although – one night a week I would like to go to Zumba because I LOVE it – but I will still be home for bedtime
- Play Restaurant, Grocery Shopping, spinning, dance party, ball, bam bam and whatever game you both would like to play
- Schedule alone time for you and me and you and daddy because I think it’s important that you get to spend quality time with each of us – ALONE
- Go to the library and pick out new books at least every other week
- Get back to crafting with you – my first project will be to make picture menus for Katie’s restaurant and teaching Ben how to use crayons instead of bashing them on the floor
- Take care of myself so my thyroid doesn’t rule our days – I am stocking up on vitamin C to boost my immune system – I am going to bed early – exercising more and eating better – all of this will help make me a happy and fun mommy as opposed to a sick feeling, grumpy, tired mommy
- GET OFF THE COMPUTER – I have gotten SUCKED into virtual time wasting online (I think this is because my time online was so limited when I was home FT)– even when you are home – so I will stop checking FB on my phone, stop answering emails (especially during dinner) and live IN THE MOMENT, in our world – not the online world. The internet can wait until you go to bed just like the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and everything else!
- Stop being in a rush for “quiet, alone ME time”. Me time is play time with you. Me time is going to the gym before work and getting up early in the morning. Me time is going to happen a lot more than I want it to when you are grown and out of the house – so I will stop being selfish because I had you to be with you – not to live along side you - and me time is the 8 hours a day I am working and not staying home with you.
I promise to make these changes every day –
If I can’t manage the housework in this way – I promise to hire a housekeeper to help out so that I CAN PLAY WITH YOU. I don’t like spending that kind of money on something so simple, but if it will give us more time together – it will be worth every penny!
Here’s to my new outlook on full time mommying!