Monday, May 23, 2011

Things that happen when you become a parent

  1. You will become obsessed with your child's poop - trust me
  2. You will realize your first week home that you don't know any nursery rhymes or childrens' songs (unless you work at a preschool) We sang Christmas songs to our daughter her first few days because we couldn't think of anything else
  3. You will learn to survive on VERY broken and often Very little sleep
  4. You will get spit up on almost daily and probably get pooped and peed on too
  5. You will give up dressing nicely for awhile because of number 4
  6. You might forget to brush your teeth every once in awhile - baby wakes up - you rush to get a bottle or nurse him, you change a diaper, probably change his outfit from spit up and then you grab your morning coffee - it happens
  7. You will contemplate whether it's worth peeing before you rush to bed once the baby is asleep because those 30 seconds could be precious sleep time
  8. You will either LOVE or HATE car rides depending on whether your child likes to sleep in his car seat - my second child HATES the car - thus making any errands or trips torture
  9. You will probably not eat out at a restaurant for awhile - unless you have a babysitter - you don't want to be those people with the screaming kid
  10. If you do end up being that person with the screaming kid (like I was the other day in Target) you will learn to ignore those around you and curse them for their ability to run in and run out and finish their errand in peace - then when your child falls asleep and is quiet you will forget all about how stressed you were when he was screaming.
  11. You will wipe your kids noses with your bare hand or your clothes to avoid having them be the snotty kid
  12. You will change diapers on tables, floors, in the middle of dinner and it won't affect you
  13. You will get over that awkward reading to a kid out loud thing - I always felt weird with my friends kids like I had to perform for an audience - you get over that
  14. You will no longer listen to your own music in the car - if there is a kids CD that will quiet your screaming baby - that becomes the regular soundtrack to your driving life
No matter who you are or how you feel about the things above now - they will all change once you become a parent. Don't let this list scare you - you will embrace it and love it and when your kids are smiling and hugging and kissing you - you will not miss your old life.
At the same time, when your child is screaming and crying for no reason - you will miss your old life just a little - it's a cycle that is never ending but well worth it in the end.


Happy Monday


  1. If I could add a few things i would also say you will now sing, skip, jump, run, and play silly games with your kids in front of anyone and not care what anyone thinks :)

  2. You forgot to say how you need to apologize to your mom & dad! Just saying.:)

  3. AMEN!!!!!

  4. So true!!! Curbside to go is the greatest invention ever... we avoid taking the girls anywhere nicer than McD's at all costs! I sang Beatles and NSync to my girls cuz I couldn't remember any nursery rhymes! LOL And as gross as it is, #11 so, so true....