Friday, August 19, 2011

Annie, the Booger Hunter

I hate snotty kids. I don't mean rude kids (although I am not really a fan of those either) I mean kids that walk around with boogers/snots running down their faces or worse yet - dried on (that means they have been there awhile...)

I have NEVER been a fan of this. Once while at a mall, I was exclaiming how much I hate seeing dirty stranger children who suffer from this affliction and my friend (who had just found out she was pregnant and hadn't told me yet) was like... what if it was my kid? (all concerned because her childless friend was talking about how much she hates booger kids hahaha - it was really funny and kinda perfect as she then spilled the beans about the impending baby who might have snots running down his/her nose)

Here's the thing - if I know you and your child, and they develop a runny nose, I will wipe it with a tissue - so they do not fall under the classification of dirty stranger children. Especially if we are good friends and not just aquaintences - I might even use my sleeve for a kid I know REALLY well... if I don't have a tissue.

My kids are my worst victims. I will dig in their nose with my nails or with "tools" (safe and padded tools nonetheless) to get out those big, slimey, colored boogers that make breathing hard and my stomach turn. If they wake up with dried on boogers, I will bust out the saline and soften them up until I can scrape them off their faces without it hurting them. I have a new tool in my arsenal called the Nosefrida snot sucker - it actually lets me see the snots as I suck them out of their noses so I know I'm clearing them out. I also have booger wipes which are super thick, soft, wet tissues that have Saline Solution on them which helps break up the boogers and help clear their nasal passages.

I have booger vision - I can see a runny nose from across the room with low light and my glasses off. My husband makes fun of me all the time - but it's just one of those things - I can't stand to see boogers. Now that Katie is older - and we go public places and classes it drives me even more crazy to see kids running around with runny noses and no moms bearing tissues in sight...

Particularly when all I see are those snotty kids touching their faces and then the things my daughter is supposed to play with - it drives me mad. If you know your kid has a runny nose - pack some damn tissues and be on the lookout - your cell phones can wait. To me, it's MORTIFYING if I look up and realize Katie has a runny nose, it takes me mere seconds to bust out a tissue and take care of the situation and most of the time she tells me before it gets to that point because we've trained her for so long.

As Katie is older, she fights it more - particularly the really hard to get ones - so I have taken to showing her the boogers once I dig them out - so that she understands I'm not just poking around in her nose for no reason - I want her to see the reason I am torturing her and I explain that boogers are germy and we don't want them.

In case you are wondering - I have antibacterial hand stuff in my purse and always apply it after my hunts and if I think my kid has touched her own boogers, I make her put some on her hands as well - so we don't spread germs....

Please parents, take care of your kids snots and boogers. It'll make the world a better place:)


  1. HA HA HA!! I thought I was the only one who did this! I was a master at the booger sucker thing when they were babies and still go at them now! Jack can get his own, but I still try because it makes me NUTS! lol

  2. I have always made sure, before leaving my house or car, that my own nose is clear...I will definitely do the same with O...booger kids drive me crazy too!

  3. I totally just busted out laughing in my office. OK I have one of those kids who constanly has a runny nose. It's not his fault he has extreme allergies. So I am always wiping his nose, in the morning we do a good cleaning of the face with a wipe and hand saniter is attached to my hip I feel. We have FINALLY taught JC not to use his hand and we are working on blowing our nose but that seems to be a hard concept. Um you can just use a tissue on my kid I would feel horrble it you used your sleeve.